Nurse Audrey’s Stress Relief Blog

Hello to all of you who carry the special honor of being grandparents. What a privilege to have the time to positively impact the lives of our grandchildren. Life has flown by and now we are the grandparents of the most lovable and talented grandchildren in the whole world!

Recently I read that the average age of a first time grandparent is 47! Yes, we are the baby boomers and we are “extreme,” but in a good way. We are not satisfied just to be occasional grandparents, but we want to be involved. We want to be hands-on, helping to influence the lives of our grandchildren in a positive way. This is the time when we can do it all over again, without the stress of having to provide the many amenities our own children needed. We will do it right this time!

We realize that times have changed; communication is different, music is different and dressing is different—the entire culture is different. But we want to cross the cultural minefields and give grace as we connect in a real and positive way with our grandchildren. Most of us are no longer embroiled in the daily hassles that accompany the raising of kids, as are their parents. This then gives our grandkids the freedom to express their feelings to an unbiased audience, who are older and wiser, their grandparents.

How can we as grandparents positively influence our grandchildren’s lives?

We can bless our grandkids by building them up with words of affirmation, words that will forever stick in their minds. They need to know that our love does not depend on how smart they are, how strong they are, how they look, or how they perform.  By doing this, we are setting them forth to be conquerors, helping to make sure that they will be successful in life. Simple words, simple gestures and time spent with them in mutually interesting activities will never be forgotten. 

Set a standard

• Sometimes it seems that we live in a valueless world, anything goes as long as we want to do it, and if in our opinion it doesn’t hurt anyone else. However, deciding if it hurts anyone else can be hard to judge. We need to help our grandchildren see the value of respect, forgiveness, admiration, and the spirit of giving even when it is hard to do.

Should you live miles away from your grandkids, there still are some things you can do to bridge the gap.

• In this age of technology, they will probably want to communicate with you by   computer. If you are not yet computer savvy, take the challenge and enter the age of technology; it’s not as hard as you might think!
• Although computers have taken over much of our communication, your grandkids just might enjoy receiving the occasional letter or postcard from the faraway places that you visit. 
• Making a specific time each week to talk with them on the phone is something that they will look forward to.

Grandparents, we do need to remember that there are seasons of our grandkids’ lives when they may seem to draw away from both us and their parents. This is a natural phenomenon, but is the time when it is most important to love and affirm them as they pass through their challenging adolescent years. 

Should you as yet not have been elevated to the status of grandparents, please forward this to those who have!

Parents everywhere will get a much-needed boost from my current CD, Slow Parenting in a Fast Paced World.

Nurse Audrey wishes you Happy Grandparenting!

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I trust that you have enjoyed some well-earned R&R during this past Labor Day and have ceased from your labor for a few days. We all need these breaks throughout the year, as it seems like nowadays there is less and less time in which to do more and more!

As we celebrate this Labor Day how may of us know the history behind it? Here are a few interesting facts to think about:
 
Labor Day holiday is not dedicated to any man, dead or alive, or to any race or sect, but has its history connected to the labor movement in the United States. Since its inception, other countries have jumped on the bandwagon and have taken this day to honor workers. It is the day when we take stock of the achievements and hard work of all men and women in the labor force.

Labor Day was instituted over 100 years ago in the United States on Tuesday, September 5, 1882, in New York City. Since then, it has been observed on the first Monday of September. Today, there is still some uncertainty as to who first instituted this holiday for workers. Some believe that it was Peter J. McGuire, General Secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners. Others believe that it was Matthew McGuire, a machinist, not Peter Maguire that founded the holiday.   

While the holiday was first set by Trade Unions as an honor to workers, we today can benefit by having one more day to rest and think about the upcoming fall season. But does a long weekend present enough time for us to rest and rejuvenate before the next one comes, namely Thanksgiving?

Just about the time when things are going smoothly after a long weekend, do we find ourselves getting caught up again in our unhealthy thinking? Do we worry about our finances, become concerned about the future, regret the past, or become overly concerned about our to-do list? All the long weekends in a year are not sufficient enough to restore healthy psychological functioning. We must daily learn to focus our energies on taking control of our lives and overcoming some of the negative thinking that we allow which rob us of our mental well-being.

I invite you to read my newsletter where you will find some strategies that will help you do just that—get back on track!

“Give the world the best you have and the best will come back to you.”
                                         Unknown, late 1800s

Until next time, Nurse Audrey signing off! 

Do you have a specific kind of fear that you wish to overcome? If you do, you are not alone. I have a significant one that has been dogging me through most of my life—the fear of spiders. I think that it is the unknown and specifically the surprise factor of spiders that disturbs me. Do they bite? Are they poisonous? But mostly it is the creepiness of how they move—all eight legs in motion at the same time.

Much of our fears today have their roots in childhood and they tend to grow as we mature. Years ago I lived with my family in a rural area of southern Alberta. The climate there was rather mild, producing the perfect environment for the growth of large spiders. We lived in a small town which had no indoor plumbing, so trips to the outhouse became a regular occurrence.

On occasion when I would visit the outhouse, something creepy would welcome me and observe me with keen interest. It was a spider as large as my thumb with a balloon-like stomach. Unfortunately, he made his home on the header above the door where I could not reach him. There he would sit watching every move I made. As I would sit ruminating, I could see him crouching low on the beam with his beady eyes staring at me. I can assure you that my time spent in the outhouse was kept to a minimum. For years this picture of the ominous creature stayed with me in the deep recesses of my mind.

Unfortunately, as I grew into adolescence, the fear of spiders was reinforced with the many encounters I had with them. At that time, my bedroom, together with my siblings’ bedrooms, was in the basement of our house which was a haven for spiders. I recall one night as I lay in bed scouting the room for their inevitable, I spied four of them trucking along on the floor even before I closed my eyes. Thinking that my brother’s bedroom would be more spider-free, I spent the next night there, only to discover two of them trucking through his room as well. The next night I slept on the chesterfield upstairs!

This phobia of spiders has been my lot all my life. How am I overcoming it, and how can you deal with an irrational fear that may be dogging you?

I invite you to read my August 20th, 2007 newsletter to find the answer!   

Till next time this is Nurse Audrey signing off!

Last July I wrote about an interesting lady that I had met at a hostel. There is really nothing unusual about meeting someone more “experienced” than you at a hostel, but there was something interesting and special about Kathryn.

A year ago when I met her, on the sidewalk outside the hostel, she was talking about her stay in the hostel. Most hostels have dorm rooms with a few private rooms for those preferring some privacy. I asked her where she laid her head at night, expecting her to say that it was in a private room…I was surprised to hear that she preferred to stay with the “young people.”

Being a nurse, I observed her physique; she was slight of build and walked erect with an air of elegance about her. Later, as we parted there was a determination and a spring in her step as she kept pace with those much younger than she.

This year, as I was walking down the same street, there was Kathryn again walking with the same determined gait, having the same infectious smile, and displaying the same air of elegance. I asked her what type of a room she had chosen this year and again received the same answer, “I stay with the young people because I enjoy them!”

Kathryn looks and acts younger than her years. Hanging around young people has certainly made her feel younger, it often does for most of us if we keep our energy up and follow what interests and inspires us most.

We all want to get the most out of our life years and each of us must find our own way to do this. But we can certainly take some tips from Kathryn:

• think young
• act young
• stay young

Until next time this is “Nurse Audrey’ signing off

There is a place in my backyard where I sit and observe the interesting behaviors of the various birds in our neighborhood. Living in the city does not afford us a great variety of birds, but the sparrows, robins, blue jays, crows and magpies are prevalent.

We have a birdbath located in the back yard which many of them frequent, the larger ones for their drink and the smaller ones for their drink and daily bath.

It is interesting to watch as the smaller ones first light on the fence, looking in all directions, and only when none of the larger birds can be seen do they enter the bath. They splash around, flap their wings making sure all their feathers are wet, and then fly to the fence for some serious preening. The sparrows and robins obviously know that should the larger birds be in the vicinity, they must defer to them.

I am finding that my daily dose of bird watching has a positive effect on my stress level. When I am completely engaged in the birds’ activities, there is no room for disturbing thoughts or anxiety. When I see these beautiful creatures hop around in the sanctuary of my backyard and pick up bits of morsels to eat, my thoughts go back to the scriptures that tell us that God both cares for and feeds these little birds. I have found that as I muse on these incidents during the day, they afford me small escapes that calm me and I become more focused.  

Finding a quiet place to observe nature is an excellent way to escape from our daily pressures, a way that will ultimately rejuvenate us and add serenity and balance to our lives.

Until next time, this is “Nurse Audrey” signing off!

Happy Canada Day…July 1st and to our American friends, Happy Independence Day on July 4th.

Many of us take time off to celebrate special events that are planned for these days, or take time out to relax with family and friends. It is also a great time to get alone and reconnect with our “inner self.” In these busy and challenging days, sometimes we forger how valuable this reconnection can be in bringing balance and harmony to our lives.

Summer is also a good time to enjoy the simple things of life like camping, picnicking, or attending special events in our parks. There are many ways we can enjoy life and bring back the fun and excitement we once experienced as children; all it takes is a little imagination, planning, and effort.

Last week we took our 10 and 14 year old grandsons to a picnic event held at Fort Edmonton Park. We were reminded by a staff worker that some scenes from the movie, The Assassination of Jessie James were filmed here. We rode in the old steam engine train where the hold up was filmed and reveled in the thought that Brad Pitt may have occupied the very seat in which we now sat. Later, we took a ride with others in the horse drawn wagon, and then topped off the evening with a ride on an original street car – just like in the olden days.

In a corner of the park is located an old fashioned playground with swings, teeter totters and simple merry-go-rounds. What fun we had on the equipment playing with our grandsons, imagining ourselves being young once again. With creative imagination, I could almost hear the excited laughter of my old schoolmates as we played together in the schoolyard. Interestingly enough, as the evening wore on, my weariness disappeared because my inner child was refreshed as I relived memories of days gone by.

It brought to me how important and powerful the laws of the mind can be. How by transforming our thoughts we can transform our feelings and minds as well.

Tell me, what you have done recently that allowed you to release your playful inner child.

Until next time, this is “Nurse Audrey” signing off

Do you wonder like I do where the years have gone? They tend to creep up on us, and before we know it everyone looks older than we do.

Senior Awareness Week has just passed here in Alberta, and June 15th is designated World Abuse Day. It is interesting to note that these significant events take place in the spring. It reminds me that even as we age, we can still have a vision for our future.

But I want to address the treatment of our elders.
A few days ago, while I was sitting on the bus heading downtown, two elderly ladies entered looking for a seat. One twenty-something lady stood giving up her seat, while the other senior stood grasping the handrail, swaying as the bus wove its way through the traffic.

I was seated beside the window with a young person beside me. Before I could get up and offer the elderly lady my seat, a middle-aged lady beat me to it. There were a number of younger passengers nearby, but none seemed to care or notice the elderly lady clutching the handrail. As the compassionate passenger gave up her seat she quipped, “I guess none of the younger ones noticed!”

Thoughts crossed my mind that many of us do not think of what it means to be getting older. We are too wrapped up in our own little world! The truth is that eventually everyone, barring early death, will be aged, and will wish that someone-especially a younger person-would take interest and show them some kindness.

I ask you to think on these points:

• How are you treating your elders?
• Are you teaching your children by your compassionate example?
• Treat all the aged as you would want to be treated when you are older.
• Keep your eyes open for opportunities to be kind to the elderly.
• Your parents with their faults did the best they could in raising you. We live in a much more enlightened age than they did.
• Forgiveness is a gift we can all extend, especially to the elderly close to us.

Old Age is not a Disease.
Old age is not a disease-it is (wisdom),
strength and survivorship,
triumph over all kinds of vicissitudes and
disappointments, trials and illnesses.
                                               Maggie Kuhn

I welcome your feedback. Contact me at audrey@nurseaudrey.com 

Until next time, this is “Nurse Audrey” signing off. 

Dear readers:
Please pass this along to your father, husband and any other father you know that will enjoy it. 

Father’s Day is only a few days away and it is time for all of us to honor our fathers.

We should honor our fathers because:

• Of the important, but difficult role they have as leaders, providers, and caregivers in the home.
• They are often portrayed on TV sitcoms and in commercials as being weak, inadequate, or even dumb.
• Even in these busy, fast moving days, they often sacrifice energy and time to help sustain important family relationships.

Our fathers need our support, encouragement, and praise, and doing so will help them continue to be the kind of Dads we all want to love and appreciate.

I encourage you men to take your place as loving partners and fathers. Allow your softer side to show while you practice the strength and leadership you are meant to have.

My Father

When I was Four years old: My daddy can do anything.
When I was Five years old: My daddy knows a whole lot.
When I was Six years old: My dad is smarter than your dad.
When I was Eight years old: My dad doesn’t know exactly everything.
When I was 10 years old: In the olden days, when my dad grew up, things were sure different.
When I was 12 years old: Oh, well, naturally, Dad doesn’t know anything about that. He is too old to remember his childhood.
When I was 14 years old: Don’t pay any attention to my dad. He is so old-fashioned.
When I was 21 years old: Him? My Lord, he’s hopelessly out of date.
When I was 25 years old: Dad knows about it, but then he should, because he has been around so long.
When I was 30 years old: Maybe we should ask Dad what he thinks. After all, he’s had a lot of experience.
When I was 35 years old: I’m not doing a single thing until I talk to Dad.
When I was 40 years old: I wonder how Dad would have handled it. He was so wise.
When I was 50 years old: I’d give anything if Dad were here now so I could talk this over with him. Too bad I didn’t appreciate how smart he was. I could have learned a lot from him.

By: Ann Landers

Until next time, this is “Nurse Audrey” signing off. 

Pleas’d to look forward, pleas’d to look behind. And count each birthday with a grateful mind –  Alexander Pope
                      
Whatever with the past has gone, the best is yet to come – Lucy Larcom

Another year has passed for me and today is my special day … the day that I celebrate the rest of my life. Each birthday can be like a new year, a time to celebrate achievements and lessons learned, and to look at the future filled with promise. 

Does it go as fast for you as it does for me? It just seems like yesterday that I was rocking my own babies, then I was rocking my grandchildren, and now they are too big to rock!

As I look back on my life, I see the growth from year to year. Sometimes I wonder why it took so long to get to where I am, but as we all know everything happens at the right time and for the right purpose. There are seasons of life, each one with its own special growth pattern. If we rush the seasons, we stunt our growth and the learning will need to be made later in our life.
So on this my birthday, I celebrate my life and look back at what I have accomplished in the past year. I will look at whether I have reached my goals—could I have done better? I will also look at my personal relationships. Have we grown closer? Did I reach out to those who needed a loving word or touch? Did I keep my heart and words right, being careful to not hurt others and apologizing and forgiving when needed? Did I take care of my body as I should with exercise and proper diet? Have I taken time to be with those who mean the most to me?
These are just some of the questions I am asking myself on this my special day.

As we can sometimes become depressed seeing the years go by, I have a few quotes to tickle your funny bone. 

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. – Lucile Ball

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. – Phyllis Diller

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Until next time, this is “Nurse Audrey” signing off. 

Another year has passed and once again it is the day we honor our mothers.

While there are many ways we can honor her, here are some special things we can consider:

MOTHERS

• They gave us life
• Mothers need to be revered, honored, loved, cherished, esteemed, respected, obeyed, listened to, and treated nobly
• Mothers are cooks, maidens, chauffeurs, teachers, administrators, nurses, launderers, psychologists…
• If we pay her for what she’s worth most of us couldn’t afford her
• A study showed that she should earn $134, 000 a year
• A man will treat his wife the way he treated his mother
• She deserves our best; pray for her and love her unconditionally

                                              Charles Stanley

These are wise words indeed.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, and mothers-to-be 

Until next time, this is ‘Nurse Audrey’ signing off.