Nurse Audrey’s Stress Relief Blog

What motivates some of us to achieve greatness, bringing benefits to many, while others are motivated to achieve a measure of success, but not affecting people in a wholesome or positive way? I suggest that it has something to do with our attitude and the way we conduct ourselves. We can motivate people with selfish reasons or we can motivate them with unselfish ones.

I have chosen for consideration some ways in which we can motivate, either in positive or negative ways.

Greed

Greed is defined as the quality of wanting more than one’s share. It has many faces and by nature can be very insidious. We may not even know that we are controlled by this behavior and so it becomes part of our lifestyle. The basis of this type of behavior lies in selfishness, and may have its origin in childhood experiences. Some children are basically selfish, and unless they are taught to be otherwise, they may grow up with the tendency toward greediness. In time, this can become a serious issue as these children grow up in a competitive world.

Selfishness spawns greed and raises its ugly head as we covet things that belong to others. Covetousness can range from an intense desire to own a stately house to a desire for someone else’s fashionable clothes. This type of coveting can, and usually does, lead to an unhealthy lifestyle with the necessity to work longer and harder in order to live beyond our means. When we spend more time working to satisfy the greed of wanting more, we spend less time for relaxation and leisure. This is a recipe for anxiety and stress.

In addition, we may also covet the relationships others have. However, what we see in them may only be an illusion of reality, for we don’t really know what is going on in their private lives. Viewing them in this way can only lead to dissatisfaction with our own relationships, and could jeopardize our own growth potential. Instead of envying others, we need to examine the dissatisfaction we have in our relationships and set out to remedy them. Remember, greed and selfishness work hand in hand and can ultimately destroy any good relationship.

Considering Others … A Better Way

Have you ever had anyone look at you sideways because of something you were doing, or were planning to do for the good of others? On occasion, I have experienced this, and have needed to set their opinions and actions aside in order to continue doing what I know I am called to do.

What may be the motives behind this type of behavior? Could it be that they do not think themselves capable of the same? Do they not have the resources at hand? Do they not have the heart to take the action themselves, or might they even be jealous of your generosity?

When reflecting on these things, I have often examined my own motives. Am I performing this good deed so that I will be noticed or recognized? Do I feel that this is something only I can do? Do I have a deeper motive, a more altruistic one? These are questions that need to be answered in the depths of our hearts as we embark on a journey of helping others, however small the project.

I have found great satisfaction in helping others, which is a wonderful and worthwhile antidote for greed and selfishness. It can change our perspective of life and help us become more compassionate, caring and generally a more rounded person. In addition, research has shown that the best way to increase our feelings of self-worth is to consider the needs of others. Being dominated by greed and selfishness can never accomplish this, but will only weaken or destroy our sense of self-worth.

A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor.
Proverbs 22:9 The Bible

This verse has great implications. It is not only to give food to the poor, but to live a lifestyle of giving in various ways. The giving of our resources can include our time, money, attention, and abilities, all done through compassion. As the saying goes, learn to “walk in their shoes.”

In the next post we will look at a few more issues that motivate us and how they can help us balance our lives in a more positive vein.

I welcome your feedback.

Until next time, this is Nurse Audrey signing off!

Have you ever felt that you are your own worse enemy? By this I mean, do you often undermine someone’s good word or deed to you by saying, “No, it can’t be true, I am not worthy”? Do you sometimes do things impulsively without prior care and planning, only to find out later that you were not prepared for an unanticipated emergency? These types of self-undermining behavior can often lead to significant stress.

You may think that most of the incidents you face are minor and only produce small amounts of stress. However, it is the steady drip, drip of stress hormones into your body’s tissues, cells, and organs that can do more damage than occasional major stress.

So what type of self-destructive, stress producing behavior am I referring to? These can be found in many different areas of life; at work, in social situations, or at home.

So let’s see what some of them are:

• Many people are on the work, work, work, treadmill. For example, they often find themselves too busy to take part in some family bonding activities. If you are one of those who, because of business commitments, are prone to saying no to such events, you probably would do well to examine your priorities. Failing to do so could negatively affect the quality of your relationship with your family.
• Do you suffer from the “keep up with Joneses’” syndrome? Is it really necessary to buy that new car, that larger house with its higher payments, or to upscale in any other way? At first you may feel that these are important issues to consider for yourself, but unknowingly you may be engaging in a behavior with dire consequences. Consider this, what will your stress level be as the bills pile up and the pressure mounts and you seemingly have no way out?
• Not preparing well for a traveling vacation can be highly stressful. Pre-travel stress can be significantly reduced if you prepare in advance travel lists of things to do, things to see, and things to take along. (If you haven’t done so already, download our free report “How To Have A Stress-Free Summer Vacation”.)
• Using the cell phone in the car is becoming a controversial issue. Stress automatically increases as you try to cope with heavy traffic while holding your cell phone in one hand. Plan to make or receive calls only when parked, or at the least use a hands-off phone system.
• When leaving the house, a store, a bank, or any other business, take a moment to look back to see if you have left anything behind – a real de-stressor!
• Papers piling up from the daily mail along with the tasks of things to do may seem insurmountable. Designate a certain evening of the week to attack the mail and one by one taker care of them right away. “Procrastination is the thief of time”; it is one of the lead causes of avoidable stress.
• Leave plenty of time for unexpected delays when driving to work, going to an appointment or when shopping. Traffic tie ups and crowded stores can be a frustrating experience when you are in a hurry, but will not be a problem if you have time to spare.
• Spending precious minutes in a drive through restaurant, waiting for your turn to be served can be big stressor. The minutes drag on while you wait, vowing that you will never take the drive through on this day and at this time again. But here you are once again in the same line-up –on the same week day, at the same day. I suggest that you park the car and go into the restaurant on foot!
• At home have a designated place for keys, a container for vitamins, and the closet organized as to coordinated outfits. These small changes can make your daily routine run more smoothly.
• Have a designated file for anything important, guarantees, investments, insurance etc. these can them be accessed at a moments notice.

I am sure that you can think of other things you can do to help minimize self-imposed stress. Time passes quickly, we should not cram more and more things into our days, but rather learn to cherish the moments, savor the hour and enjoy the minutes as they are lived.

To lighten your day:

An attorney is on his deathbed in hospital. A friend comes to visit and finds the lawyer frantically leafing through the Bible. “What are you doing?” the visitor asks. The sick lawyer replies, “Looking for loopholes.”