Nurse Audrey’s Stress Relief Blog

Most of us desire to be on friendly terms with others, and do not consciously go out of our way to be socially disagreeable. But in the process, we may bend a little too far backwards in order to keep the peace, and in doing so create stress-producing emotions.Saying yes too often can be emotionally stressful because we may be committing ourselves to tasks that we are not really skilled or qualified to do. We need to remember that our time and health are paramount in any situation. Therefore, positioning ourselves in a place where we do not want to be can lead to unnecessary stress. This we do not want to do.

Some requests that are conditioned on a yes answer may require much of your time, energy, wisdom, skills or even money. Saying yes on a consistent basis to these requests can be emotionally and physically harmful both to us and to others. Therefore, it is highly important to know your capabilities and limitations before committing to doing certain tasks.

What motivates us to readily answer yes to many requests?

• There may be people in your life who make a habit of asking you, or someone else, to do something for them that they themselves can do, but won’t. This can become a trap, making you the contributor to their lack of initiative.

• You may answer yes because in the spur of the moment you are taken off guard by the request, and you answer yes without giving it much thought. By giving a quick yes response, you may stretch your already thin resources to the breaking point.

• The request made may come from a person whose friendship you cherish and want to keep, so under pressure you may answer yes even against your better judgment.

In these examples, I see that there is an underlying reason for saying yes, and it may boil down to simply how we view ourselves. Do we have a history of wanting to please others at any cost? Are we not comfortable with certain types of confrontation, so we quickly answer yes?

I would like to suggest a little exercise you can do to be at ease in saying no. …read more