Nurse Audrey’s Stress Relief Blog

Have you ever felt that you are your own worse enemy? By this I mean, do you often undermine someone’s good word or deed to you by saying, “No, it can’t be true, I am not worthy”? Do you sometimes do things impulsively without prior care and planning, only to find out later that you were not prepared for an unanticipated emergency? These types of self-undermining behavior can often lead to significant stress.

You may think that most of the incidents you face are minor and only produce small amounts of stress. However, it is the steady drip, drip of stress hormones into your body’s tissues, cells, and organs that can do more damage than occasional major stress.

So what type of self-destructive, stress producing behavior am I referring to? These can be found in many different areas of life; at work, in social situations, or at home.

So let’s see what some of them are:

• Many people are on the work, work, work, treadmill. For example, they often find themselves too busy to take part in some family bonding activities. If you are one of those who, because of business commitments, are prone to saying no to such events, you probably would do well to examine your priorities. Failing to do so could negatively affect the quality of your relationship with your family.
• Do you suffer from the “keep up with Joneses’” syndrome? Is it really necessary to buy that new car, that larger house with its higher payments, or to upscale in any other way? At first you may feel that these are important issues to consider for yourself, but unknowingly you may be engaging in a behavior with dire consequences. Consider this, what will your stress level be as the bills pile up and the pressure mounts and you seemingly have no way out?
• Not preparing well for a traveling vacation can be highly stressful. Pre-travel stress can be significantly reduced if you prepare in advance travel lists of things to do, things to see, and things to take along. (If you haven’t done so already, download our free report “How To Have A Stress-Free Summer Vacation”.)
• Using the cell phone in the car is becoming a controversial issue. Stress automatically increases as you try to cope with heavy traffic while holding your cell phone in one hand. Plan to make or receive calls only when parked, or at the least use a hands-off phone system.
• When leaving the house, a store, a bank, or any other business, take a moment to look back to see if you have left anything behind – a real de-stressor!
• Papers piling up from the daily mail along with the tasks of things to do may seem insurmountable. Designate a certain evening of the week to attack the mail and one by one taker care of them right away. “Procrastination is the thief of time”; it is one of the lead causes of avoidable stress.
• Leave plenty of time for unexpected delays when driving to work, going to an appointment or when shopping. Traffic tie ups and crowded stores can be a frustrating experience when you are in a hurry, but will not be a problem if you have time to spare.
• Spending precious minutes in a drive through restaurant, waiting for your turn to be served can be big stressor. The minutes drag on while you wait, vowing that you will never take the drive through on this day and at this time again. But here you are once again in the same line-up –on the same week day, at the same day. I suggest that you park the car and go into the restaurant on foot!
• At home have a designated place for keys, a container for vitamins, and the closet organized as to coordinated outfits. These small changes can make your daily routine run more smoothly.
• Have a designated file for anything important, guarantees, investments, insurance etc. these can them be accessed at a moments notice.

I am sure that you can think of other things you can do to help minimize self-imposed stress. Time passes quickly, we should not cram more and more things into our days, but rather learn to cherish the moments, savor the hour and enjoy the minutes as they are lived.

To lighten your day:

An attorney is on his deathbed in hospital. A friend comes to visit and finds the lawyer frantically leafing through the Bible. “What are you doing?” the visitor asks. The sick lawyer replies, “Looking for loopholes.”

In these busy days, one may ask: “Who has time to pause?” Life seems to be filled with one rush after another leaving us little time to pause and reflect. But there is value in taking strategic pauses throughout a busy day. These pauses produce a natural, powerful rise in our biological energy. It is this biological energy that influences, in a positive way, our thoughts, feelings, attentiveness, and actions.

The busyness that many of us experience from day to day is often the result of our desire to get ahead and stay ahead at any cost. And in the process, we sophisticated humans look more like the gerbil running on his treadmill in a cage getting nowhere fast (unless he uses the treadmill to exercise and build up his cardio-vascular system; if so, he is wiser than most of us humans give him credit.) At any rate, we too can be so busy spinning our own wheels, doing more while accomplishing less. What we are experiencing here is called “impaired alertness.” This is numbness of the mind and body brought on by us pushing ourselves harder and longer while sleeping less and less. Our energy thus becomes depleted and we subject ourselves to fatigue and many health problems.

We may think that we are alert, but in reality we are driven by energy that is produced by tension and stress. Thriving on this type of energy can escalate to greater physical and mental breakdown. Studies show that when we work longer than twenty or thirty minutes on a single task without a short break, our problem-solving time increases 500 percent and we become irritable and short-tempered.

There are two different ways to rejuvenate and increase our production while reducing stress:

1. Strategic pauses which involve only thirty seconds taken every half hour

2. Essential breaks which involve two or three minutes, taken two or more times a day

Use your pauses or breaks in the following strategies:

• After sitting sedentary, get up from your chair and rejuvenate yourself by stretching, or by doing a simple exercise such as wall pushups. Research shows that by simply standing up every half hour, we increase our alertness and energy by up to 30 percent. Also, even a slight slump of the shoulders depletes lung capacity by as much as 30 percent.
• Take a few deep breaths and relax your breathing. When we chronically under-breathe or have frequent halts in breathing, we are depriving our body of oxygen, leading to tension and tiredness. Practice deep breathing on a regular basis and you will experience relaxation and vigor.
• Eyestrain is a common cause of fatigue. An interesting fact is that the tiny muscles in the human eye use more energy than any other muscle fibre in the body; consequently, eyestrain often results. To reduce eyestrain, pause and look away from your task. Some say that looking at a red object is best, but a picture of your favorite nature scene will also do. In some studies, it was found that those who spent all day at desk jobs but took pauses to view nature scenes nearly doubled their job satisfaction ratings. In addition, they felt less frustrated and were more patient.
• read more

Points to Ponder

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.
Sydney J. Harris

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax.
William S. Burroughs

Sometimes the most urgent thing you can do is take a complete rest.
Ashleigh Brilliant

Until next time, this is Nurse Audrey signing off!

Most of us desire to be on friendly terms with others, and do not consciously go out of our way to be socially disagreeable. But in the process, we may bend a little too far backwards in order to keep the peace, and in doing so create stress-producing emotions.Saying yes too often can be emotionally stressful because we may be committing ourselves to tasks that we are not really skilled or qualified to do. We need to remember that our time and health are paramount in any situation. Therefore, positioning ourselves in a place where we do not want to be can lead to unnecessary stress. This we do not want to do.

Some requests that are conditioned on a yes answer may require much of your time, energy, wisdom, skills or even money. Saying yes on a consistent basis to these requests can be emotionally and physically harmful both to us and to others. Therefore, it is highly important to know your capabilities and limitations before committing to doing certain tasks.

What motivates us to readily answer yes to many requests?

• There may be people in your life who make a habit of asking you, or someone else, to do something for them that they themselves can do, but won’t. This can become a trap, making you the contributor to their lack of initiative.

• You may answer yes because in the spur of the moment you are taken off guard by the request, and you answer yes without giving it much thought. By giving a quick yes response, you may stretch your already thin resources to the breaking point.

• The request made may come from a person whose friendship you cherish and want to keep, so under pressure you may answer yes even against your better judgment.

In these examples, I see that there is an underlying reason for saying yes, and it may boil down to simply how we view ourselves. Do we have a history of wanting to please others at any cost? Are we not comfortable with certain types of confrontation, so we quickly answer yes?

I would like to suggest a little exercise you can do to be at ease in saying no. …read more

I am not referring to physical eyesight per se, but, rather the ability and foresight for us to think more about the needs of others, and less about our own needs.

Albert Schweitzer said it well,
“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.”

To truly understand this statement, we may need to experience the flickering or even the extinguishing of our light, or our mental vision. Our light can flicker or even go out through experiencing the loneliness of losing a loved one, the devastation of losing a job, or the difficulty of dealing with family challenges.

It is our choice to be consumed with our own problems and needs, or chose to be compassionate and reach out beyond ourselves to the needs of others.

Being overly concerned with our own needs can be the cause of much of our anxiety and stress. Our world shrinks when we use our energies primarily to solve our own problems rather that reaching out to help others with their problems.

Why do we not reach out to others on a regular basis? Time constraints are often an excuse. Time needed for job duties, time needed for family and social duties. Just not enough time!

I encourage you to read the following quotes carefully and let your heart guide you.
 

Closing thoughts:

In the big playground of life, you can’t swing alone.
Ziggy by Tom Wilson

There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart…pursue.
Michael Nolan

And now here is my secret, a very simple secret, it is only with the heart that one can see slightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.
Antoinede Saint – Exupery

The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye, but found by the heart.
Anonymous

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eyes.
Anonymous

The greatest goal of the human heart is to reach down to another.
Unknown

I invite you to check out our membership site where you can read the differences between the The Physical Eye v/s The Heart Eye and download the many helpful resources.

The following humorous message is heartfelt as I trust that you will have a peaceful and prosperous 2008. I invite you to read my newsletter which will be posted on January 10th. In it you will find tips and strategies on how you can journey toward “stress free “ living.

2008 CONTRACT

After some very serious & cautious consideration…..

your contract of friendship has been renewed

for the New Year 2008!

It was a terribly hard decision to make,

so try not to screw it up!!!

My Wish for You in 2008

May peace break into your house
and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become
magnets for $100 bills —
or at least enough to keep you comfortable.

May those same jeans end up two sizes too big
as you miraculously lose the same few pounds
you’ve resolved to lose every New Year’s Day.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline
and may laughter assault your lips!

May your world be filled with the riches of family
& beautiful, rewarding relationships.

May you find that ever-elusive extra hour each day
to meditate, decompress, exercise, laugh,
call a long lost friend or simply
to stop and smell the roses.

May happiness slap you across the face
and may all your tears be tears of joy.

May the problems you had
forget your home address!

May you exercise & appreciate the joy
of giving of yourself to others — as a mentor, a friend,
an ear, a volunteer or in the form
of financial contributions, as you can.

May 2008 find you & your family in good health,
and may you do YOUR part to maintain
or work toward a more healthy lifestyle.

May your life be filled with the Good Lord’s blessings,
and may you take the time & have the sense
to recognize them & be thankful.

In simple words ………..

May 2008 be the best year of your life
– to date, that is!

Happy New Year, My Friend!!!!

Print this Blog, post it, and read its important message whenever you need a lift!
Until next time, this is Nurse Audrey saying:
Go for it and make 2008 your best year ever!

Am I entitled in this life to be happy all the time?
Am I entitled to have others treat me kindly?
Am I entitled to meet and live with my “soul mate”?
The answer is an unequivocal, No!

Yes, there are times when we may feel this way, but if we look at life through the eyes of entitlement, we will be disappointed. There will always be an inward battle between what we think we deserve and what life doles out to us.

In the end it comes down to anticipation vs expectation.
How disappointing life can be if we expect to be treated fairly and kindly all the time. Yes, we can anticipate that relationships and life in general will go our way, but can we always expect it?

This is the blueprint that we need to take through life and to instill into our children’s lives as well. It is never more important to do this than at this time of year, when their eyes light up with anticipation of receiving the many gifts on their list.

A final thought:
If we want to live in the sunshine all the time, we must live in the desert. Yes, it is the wind and the rain in life that help us develop into the kind of people who can touch others and ultimately find fulfillment in life.     

I am going to let the Blog have a rest over the holidays and will meet with you again early in 2008.
May you have a restful season and I look forward to connecting with you in the New Year!

Until next time, this is Nurse Audrey signing off.

A friend recently told me of an incident that he observed in a fast food restaurant a few weeks ago. It was a cold day and the line-up inside for service was long. As some were eating at the booths and others were coming and going, a rather scruffy, somewhat unclean man, who was probably homeless, entered the building.

In a rather inappropriate way he began to bother the customers in line, and then proceeded to grab the food of a customer who was already eating. All eyes were on him. “How dare he come and disturb our day, try to take our food and generally make a nuisance of himself. Who does he think he is?”

I asked my friend if he did anything about this situation. He said no he did not as he himself was surprised and disturbed by this man’s offensive behavior just as were the other customers.

What would I have done – what would you have done in this situation? What should we have done? Let’s look at this man from a different perspective. What is it like to live on the street—no warm bed, no caring family, no one to go home to? What is it like to be hungry and smell food while looking for shelter, and then enter a restaurant and see well-dressed people buying and eating at booths?

What went wrong with this man? Was he abused as a child? Was he led astray by his own choosing? Why is he homeless now? I believe many of those who appear outwardly “successful” may only be a few house payments away from being homeless themselves.

What would have happened if someone had approached him and said: “Hello, my name is …, I will buy you a meal. What would you like to eat? Please sit down and I will bring it to you”?

Do you suppose that such a small act of kindness would have touched his heart? It may have been a long time since this man had received a touch of kindness such as this. I don’t believe that we should reward bad behavior by giving in to unreasonable demands, but we could sit down with this fellow, and while he’s eating explain that by being respectful to others, we would receive from them a more favorable response to our own needs. People are more willing to help the needy if they are not rude and aggressive. This could be a valuable teaching lesson on how to develop some needed social graces. 

Yes, there are opportunities every day to look past another’s behavior and discover deep within the heart some repressed goodness. 

I encourage you at this Christmas Season to look for opportunities to reach out to those less fortunate in a non-judgmental way, and see what positive changes you will experience yourself and what impact this will have on others as well.

Your comments are welcome.
See you next time,
Nurse Audrey

• Both teams were actually “underdogs” (second place in their conferences).
• Both overcame this handicap by beating the first place teams.
• Saskatchewan has not won the cup since 1989; Winnipeg since 1990.
• Both are from the prairies.
• Be prepared for a good old-fashioned, charged atmosphere across the country and a rock-em-sock-em game in Toronto.

Let’s take a leaf from the pages of their success

• You may feel like an underdog on your job, among your circle of friends, or in your own sporting game.
• Begin by remembering that “Everyone loves an underdog!” You don’t have to remain one for long.
• Identify your areas of strength and weakness.
• Change the way you view yourself.
• Believe in your ability to succeed (this can turn into positive motivation for your life).
• Act out your belief and watch others begin to believe in you too.
• Remember, you are what you believe.

But you don’t have to feel like one! Change the way you view things; see yourself as being successful in every endeavor; and don’t be a quitter!

   “Go Riders/Bombers” May the best team win!

Enjoy the game, and until next time this is Nurse Audrey signing off!

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, we all pause and remember the thousands of men and women who sacrificed their lives fighting for freedom and democracy during the First World War, the Second World War, the Korean War, during peacekeeping missions, and still are in Afghanistan and Iraq.

If we do not remember the sacrifices made by those who have died in battle, their lives will be almost meaningless. They died doing what they believed in. They died for us, for their homes and families, and friends, for a collection of traditions that they cherished and a future they believed in; they died for freedom. The meaning of their sacrifice rests with our collective national consciousnesses; our future is their monument.

Here is some interesting information about Remembrance Day
http://www.rockies.net/~spirit/grief/grief05.html

The History of the Poppy

A writer first made the connection between the poppy and the battlefield deaths during the Napoleonic wars of the early 19th century. The writer remarked that fields that had been barren before battle exploded with the blood-red flowers after the fighting ended.

During the tremendous bombardments of the First World War the chalk soils became rich in lime from rubble, allowing ‘popaver rhoeas’ to thrive. When the war ended the lime was quickly absorbed, and the poppy began to disappear again.  After John McCrae’s poem In Flanders Fields was published in 1915 the poppy became a popular symbol for soldiers who died in battle.  Three years later an American, Moina Michael, was working in a New York City YMCA canteen when she started wearing a poppy in memory of the millions who died on the battlefield.

During a 1920 visit to the United States a French woman, Madame Guerin, learned of the custom. On her return to France she decided to use handmade poppies to raise money for the destitute children in war-torn areas of the country. In November, 1921, the first poppies were distributed in Canada.

Thanks to the millions who wear flowers each November, the little red plant has never died. And neither have the memories of the thousands of brave soldiers who have, and continue to fight for our freedom.

The story of soldier Gordon Cameron
http://www3.sympatico.ca/berdusco/gord1.htm

May we all take time on Monday November 11th to remember!

See you next time, Nurse Audrey signing off!

I don’t know if any of you are old enough to remember when Halloween was more fun than it is today? Years ago we lived in a small town, and because we did not have a large mall or other amenities that our young people feel they cannot live without today, we often created our own Halloween fun. Those were the days when a trip to the toilet meant going to the old outhouse which usually contained a two-holer, one for mom and one for tot.

These specific buildings gave us a wonderful idea for a trick on Halloween night. “Why not turn over an outhouse?” This idea was met with a resounding “Yes!” from my three compatriots. The procedure of disengaging the outhouse from its moorings would take the strength and agility of all four of us, for if we did not watch our footing, the trick would have definitely been on us! Accompanied by my three partners in crime, we waited till dark and then picked out the outhouse belonging to the person we most wanted to target. Stealthily, we crept to the building. After sizing it up, we put all four sets of hands on the front door and pushed with all our might. Slowly, the building creaked over its most important contents. Finally, with one last push, it fell onto its back, exposing the dark contents below. Needless to say, with the trick completed, we were out of there in a flash to collect the rest of our treats.

We could hardly wait to get to school the next day! As we approached our one room schoolhouse, we could see a group of kids in deep conversation. “I’d like to get the people who pushed over our outhouse; I almost fell into the hole.” This coming from the poor kid whose outhouse we had targeted. Looking innocent while stifling our laughter, we kept our little secret while thinking of who we could target next year.

Yes, it seems like all of the fun has gone out of Halloween!

P.S. I have changed a lot since then!

Until next time, this is “Nurse Audrey” signing off.